Headlines: 09.17.12
By Smaktakula ‘Cause You’ve Already Got The Job, Bro-Ski! As the news articles of the day are so replete with unfamiliar words and challenging concepts, we’re happy simply to comment on the headlines....
View ArticleTardsie’s True-Ass Tales–Take Me Out To The Ballgame
By Tardsie Relax, baseball-haters, the following True-Ass Tales are concerned less with what happens on the field, and more with shenanigans in the stands. Inexplicably, My Wife Wore An Orange Shirt To...
View ArticleHeadlines 10.16.12
By Smaktakula Look, We Tried, But She Refused To Take It Seriously. She Kept Wanting To Play Charades. In Which We Comment On The Headlines Without Bothering To Read The Articles *** 9 Reasons Why...
View ArticleSuck It, Las Vegas!
By Tardsie We Took A Road Trip To Las Vegas! Don’t Worry, My Wife Drove. My wife and I recently got back from Las Vegas, where we saw the Killers in concert on Friday night. It was an awesome,...
View ArticleHeadlines: In Fact, Yes We Did
By Smaktakula “Yes, Bonnie–Mr. Clinton Is Aware Of Your Article. But The Former President Is A Very Busy Man, And We All Think It’s Best If Maybe You Don’t Call Any More.” In which we comment on the...
View ArticleTardsie’s True-Ass Tales: Urine The Clear
By Tardsie They’re Pretty Much Infallible, You Know. When you hear that somebody has passed a drug test, you probably assume the person is drug-free. It’s a reasonable assumption–the testing is...
View ArticleUntruth & Consequences: I’m Tardsie, And I’m An Alcoholic Apparently
By Tardsie The Potential To Be An Asshole Is Always There, But Whiskey Helps You Put It To Best Use. That’s Permanent Marker, By The Way. Part 3 of 4: In which are observed new symptoms to the same...
View ArticleUntruth & Consequences: Drug School! (Part I)
By Tardsie Note: This post has been split into two parts to prevent reading fatigue. “Where’d you learn that, Cheech? Drug School?” Trooper Rodney Farva *** Part 4 of 4.5. In which dirty deals are...
View ArticleUntruth & Consequences: Drug School! (Part II)
By Tardsie I Have Always Believed Learning To Be A Life-Long Process. Part The Last: In which we finally stop talking for a while. After finishing my class-prep in the parking lot of a McDonald’s, I...
View ArticleOn Friendship
By Tardsie And A Little Gay If The Ponies Are To Be Believed. I believe that friendship is important. It’s soul-affirming. A bad friendship is like a bad relationship–you’re better off not having it at...
View ArticleHeadlines: When Pigs Float
By Smaktakula Ha! Tell Me About It. There’s A “Steve” Story About This Very Thing! Because we learn everything we need to know about the world from the headlines of the day! *** Police remove woman who...
View ArticleHeadlines: Achtung, Maybe!
By Smaktakula This One Practically Writes Itself, Which Is Good, Because Mocking This Wretch Would Be Like Stealing Lunch Money From A Down Syndrome Kid. In which we champion the twin virtues of...
View ArticleProfiles In Dignity III: Wherefore Art Thou, Dignity?
By Smaktakula Four Walls And A Roof Make It A House. Love Makes It A Home. JUST LIKE CHOCOLATE AND PEANUT BUTTER, SAD & FUNNY ARE TWO GREAT TASTES THAT TASTE GREAT TOGETHER! *** Look, We’re Not...
View ArticleHeadlines: Why Not Miss Saigon?
By Smaktakula Much Like A Tramp-Stamp Which Reads “WHORE,” This Is A Great Example Of Truth In Advertising. In which we comment on the day’s headlines without first bothering to read the articles. ***...
View ArticleHeadlines: Eat Like A Bird
By Smaktakula No, We’re Not Going To Use This As A Cheap Opportunity To Poke Fun At Nigeria. People Have To Live In That Lightless Hellhole, You Know. In which we comment on the day’s headlines without...
View ArticleHeadlines: Badly-Named And Born To Kill
By Smaktakula His Crime? That Fucking Name. In which we celebrate our ignorance by commenting on the headlines of news stories we can’t be bothered to actually read. *** Only Children: Lonely and...
View ArticleHeadlines: Get On Your Knees And Fight Like A Man
By Smaktakula How Conceited Are The Folks In South Haven?–They Clearly Believe Their Shit Don’t Stink. You can read the articles if you want. We didn’t. We’re just talking about the headlines. *** 11...
View ArticleHeadlines: We’re Not Laughing, Ricky
By Smaktakula No Matter How Loudly We Trumpet Our Innocence, The Man’s Always Trying To Bring Us Down. In which we celebrate ignorance by responding to the headlines of news articles we have not...
View ArticleWorst. Party. Ever.
By Tardsie In which is discussed tolerance, theft and weed abatement. Of course this post is not safe for work. It contains lots of salty language and one particularly offensive word (not used...
View ArticleHeadlines: Shaking And Stirred
By Smaktakula We Believe It Is Vitally Important To Treat An Issue With The Same Respect You Would Accord To Any Other Issue. In which we celebrate our awe-inspiring ignorance by commenting on the...
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